In our last post, “Should I Put My Kid in Club Lacrosse?” I mention the great friends we have gained through this journey. Seven years in and we are still close with parents our kids played with years ago. Many of our best friends today are parents of other kids on our club teams. I also mentioned in that post you will meet some club lacrosse parent personalities along the journey. While the fields change and the towns change, one thing stays exactly the same: the parent personalities. If you’ve been in club lacrosse for more than one season, you already know every single one of these. And if you’re just starting out — consider this your field guide.
The Sideline Coach
Let’s start here, because this is where most of us begin — and yes, I am absolutely including myself. This is the parent yelling “WHEELS!” every single time their kid touches the ball. Other favorites include “Shoot!”, “Go!”, and “Move!” — none of which has ever, in the history of youth sports, made a child perform better.
Looking back, I was so excited watching my kids play that every part of me wanted them to succeed in real time. What I learned — after they threatened to quit if I didn’t stop — is that the experience is theirs, not mine. The Sideline Coach eventually figures this out. Most of them, anyway.
The Lone Wolf
This is me today. I genuinely love watching them play, and during games, I want to watch the game. I don’t want to socialize, I don’t want to hear commentary, I just want to watch. I’m sure I come across as standoffish, and I try to make up for it between games. But gametime? I’m locked in.
The Cheerleader
This is my wife, and she does it right. She cheers for everyone — our kids, their teammates, and honestly sometimes even a good play by the other team. She’s positive before, during, and after the game. Not over the top, just consistently upbeat. This is the personality every sideline needs more of and sees the least of.
The Ref Basher
Never okay, but there are always three or four on every sideline. Every call against their team is “ridiculous.” Every bad play by their own kid is a missed call by the ref. The worst of them direct it straight at the officials themselves.
Here’s the reality: these refs are not getting rich. Most are out there because they love the game. I was at a girls’ modified game once where a ref stopped play, walked to the sideline, and gave a full minute of honest feedback to the complaining parents. One thing he said has stuck with me: “Parents like you are going to cause this game to go away because officials don’t want to deal with it.”
He wasn’t wrong. This is the worst personality on the list.
The Tent Titan
For those new to club life: at most tournaments, teams set up a gathering area — usually a tent, folding table, and depending on the Tent Titan, an increasingly elaborate setup. The Tent Titan is the one coordinating — or dare I say, dictating — all of it.
On the low-key end, it’s “bring something if you want.” On the extreme end — and I have seen this more than once — there is an actual sign-up sheet. Not a sheet where you write what you’d like to bring. A sheet where you choose from a pre-approved list that the Tent Titan has already distributed.
Tent Etiquette is a whole post on its own — and it’s coming soon.
Jimmy Olsen (The Photographer)
Jimmy Olsen was Superman’s go-to photographer — and on your team, this parent is an absolute asset. They show up with the real camera, the long lens, and somehow manage to get shots that look like they belong in a sports magazine. I’ve tried to video game action myself. It always turns out to be great footage of the sky or the grass, because I get too into the game to actually hold the camera steady.
The real bonus? The Jimmy Olsen who livestreams games for parents who can’t be there. With three kids in the life, there are weekends where we’re in two different cities. Being able to watch live footage of a game you already feel guilty for missing is genuinely huge. If you have one of these on your team — thank them.
The Statistician
This parent can tell you exactly how many goals and assists every player had by the time the final whistle blows — starting, of course, with their own kid. I understand the instinct, but most club parents — especially early on — are tracking the wrong things. Goals are exciting, but they don’t tell the whole story. A critical ground ball in a tight game or a well-timed defensive stop means more to me than a highlight goal. The game is deeper than the box score.
The Socialite
This is the parent who knows everything about everyone — not about the game, but about what everyone does for a living, what the latest gossip is, and anything else not related to what’s happening on the field. The Socialite hasn’t watched a single minute of play, and are totally ok with that. The worst part: they usually have no idea how the game is actually played.
The Vet
This is who I aspire to be. Usually a parent on their second or third kid in club lacrosse. Cool, collected, never yelling from the sidelines, never on the refs, never in the gossip. Most importantly, they’re a great resource for anyone navigating the life — and they offer insight when asked, not when you didn’t ask for it. Every sideline needs one.
The reality is I could keep going — but these cover what you’ll see 90% of the time. Hopefully this brings you a few laughs and maybe some useful perspective if you’re just starting the journey. And if you recognize yourself in one of these — don’t worry. Most of us started somewhere we’re not proud of.
CLL
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