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As our 7th year of this club lacrosse life with 3 kids fully involved comes to a close, it still amazes us that we learn something new — not just every season, but every tournament. As we reflect on this one, we want to share our 5 biggest takeaways with all of you. Hopefully one or two of them make your next Club Lacrosse season — whether it’s your first or your tenth — a little bit easier. Our kids chose this path and we chose to support it. It has become our life, like it has for so many of you.
Lesson 1 — Budget for more than you think (it’s really expensive)
We all know it’s expensive, and since we are not millionaires with a never-ending budget, we have learned to budget where we can. Everyone knows the club dues are big — but it’s everything else you really need to plan for. Staying at the team hotel matters for your child to get the whole experience, and a club will usually stick with one hotel chain. Join that chain’s loyalty program, get the credit card, and save those points. With 3 kids in the life, we spend a ton on summer hotels, and using the loyalty programs to their fullest gets us a free room or two by the time fall season rolls around.
We covered every expense you’re going to run into in our previous blog, “The Real Cost of Club Lacrosse,” and you can grab the free Budget Guide that lays it all out in one document. Planning for these in advance can take the edge off a stress level that already runs high during the season. One last budget tip: use birthdays and holidays for gear replacements. The kids love a new stick or the hottest cleats, and folding those into gift-giving saves you a bit — trust us, they’ll be just as excited about it as anything else they unwrap.
Lesson 2 — The right gear saves your weekend (learned the hard way)
Tournament weekends can be long and, let’s be honest, uncomfortable. Anyone who has spent a summer weekend on a turf complex when it’s 90 degrees out will tell you that’s not just uncomfortable — for a parent, it borders on torture. What we’ve learned is that there are three non-negotiable items, and they’re the three we’ll happily spend extra on, because they’re that important.
First, a good sideline chair. We started with the cheap $20 versions, most of which broke by season’s end and none of which were comfortable to sit in for 8 hours. This is our prize sideline item and worth every dollar.
Second, the wagon. You can read our blog “The Great Wagon Debate,” which lays out our differing opinions — and if we’re being honest, the wagon skeptic in our house was wrong. It’s a must-have. This past season, a tournament at a beautiful university with great facilities made that abundantly clear: the 20-minute walk to the fields would have been brutal without it. We’ve been through a few wagons over 7 years; the current one is practical and does the job.
Third, a cooler. As our kids get older, this is the critical item. Water bottles need refilling after every game, so you need water and — more importantly — you need ice. A cooler that actually keeps ice frozen and has room for everything else is non-negotiable. It’s the second thing we make sure gets packed every weekend, right behind the chair.
We cover all of this in our blog “Tournament Weekend Packing List,” and you can download our free Packing Checklist to make sure nothing gets left behind each weekend.
Lesson 3 — You have less control than you think, so manage yourself
As parents, we all want the best for our children. We want to see them succeed — both because we know they love this and because we’re heavily invested, financially and emotionally. But we can’t control the experience. What we can do is be their biggest supporter, in the good moments and especially when things go bad. We can’t coach them from the sideline; it hurts more than it helps. Support them, help them work on what they need to get better, and be their cheerleader.
Seven years in, we’ve evolved as club lax parents, and we think most people do. As our kids have gotten older, we find ourselves watching the younger age groups play between our own kids’ games. It brings back memories and it’s fun to see where our kids came from. One thing we notice almost every time: the sideline coaching and the yelling at refs is always louder at those younger ages. Our honest belief is that it’s parents like we were 6 or 7 years ago — parents who thought they were helping. Most of them will figure it out eventually, and we can’t help but wish someone had made us see it sooner. We wrote a humorous blog on sideline parent personalities that’s worth a read: hopefully it helps some new parents early, and lets a few vets like us laugh at seeing ourselves.
Lesson 4 — It’s easy to lose perspective (we did too)
As our children have gotten older, the pressure has only gotten more intense. We’d love to say it’s just a game, but the reality is that for a lot of these club teams the competition is real — not just against other teams, but for a spot on the roster and for playing time. That pressure is real, and from what we’ve seen, too many of us don’t handle it in a way that actually helps our kids.
If we’re being honest, a lot of lax parents have a hard time seeing their child’s ability for exactly where it is. And it rarely stays private — it gets shared with other parents (who never hesitate to pass it along) or, worse, with the kids themselves. We get it: we love our kids and we want them to have everything. But putting down another kid, or stewing over our own child’s minutes, doesn’t help them and it definitely doesn’t help us. This life can be rewarding and fun and full of family memories. Fixating on the negatives and the things we can’t control drains away most of the joy it has to offer.
Lesson 5 — Let them live it; your job is to enjoy the ride
Okay, here it is — the one lesson we want you to take away from this. Ready? Enjoy it. We’re talking to you, the parent. Enjoy this experience. Yes, we spend a lot of money, yes a ton of time, and yes we want the best for our kids. They will figure it out. Remember, we can’t control the experience — so while we’re there to support them, we also need to enjoy it.
Enjoy the minutes they’re on the field doing what they love. Savor the moments they’re just being kids — celebrating on the sidelines, running through the hotel, exploring a town they’ve never been to. Let’s be honest: if you’re in this life, it truly is YOUR life. Your summers, your falls, and countless weeknights and weekends revolve around it. Soak up all the good it has to offer, and get past the negatives quickly.
Close
As our 7th season closes, we’ve had some great moments and some tough ones — but without a doubt, this is an experience we wouldn’t trade. Our kids are starting to become young adults, and ClubLaxLife has been a big part of their growth. We’re closing in on the end of this with only a few years left. Lacrosse won’t be their whole life, but right now it’s a big part of it. As we head into season 8, our message to them, and to each other as parents, is simple: enjoy it.
That’s a Wrap.