Club Ball vs. School Ball

Why both matter, and where parents go wrong

Here’s the reality about club ball vs school ball: they don’t need to compete with each other or fight each other. They both have their purpose. Both matter. Especially to the child who loves the game — and whether you’re growing them as a lacrosse player, a teammate, or a leader, both play a big part in your child’s development.

Club lacrosse, as your child approaches the pre-teen years, can be a grind. One of our first blogs talked about making sure your kid loves lacrosse before you sign up for the club life (Is Club Lacrosse Worth It?). If they don’t love it when they’re young and starting out, they won’t want to keep playing when it gets tough — and it will get tough. Club is where the long-term work gets done. It’s also where, eventually, recruiting happens.

School ball is something different. What kid doesn’t want to represent their town and their school? In the early years, it lets them shine, play with the kids they grew up with, and grow into leaders — not just on the field, but in life. At the varsity level, it sharpens up fast and becomes its own kind of pressure cooker.

Two programs. One kid. Both matter in their development. Here’s what seven years across three kids has taught me about how they’re different, why both matter, and where parents go wrong.

When Your Club Kid Hits School Ball

Let’s be clear — there are distinct differences between club lacrosse and school lacrosse. For club lacrosse parents, which is our audience here, school lacrosse will take you back when your child first starts. For most kids, school lacrosse begins at the modified level — 7th and 8th grade. When your child started club lacrosse at 7 or 8 years old, the first experience at school lax has a ton of positives and some real eye-openers.

For the seasoned club players, when they start school ball, they are going to stand out. I mean really shine. Even if your child is average on a club team, with all the club reps and the amount of time they have spent with a stick in their hand, they are light-years ahead of many of the kids starting to play school ball. For many of those kids, if they didn’t have a town rec program, this is the first time they are picking up a stick. The reality is, even if they played rec for several years leading up to club, they most likely had a stick in their hand 4 to 6 weeks per year. Club kids — it’s a year-round lifestyle.

And I want to be clear about something — that gap is a good thing. Club lacrosse is expensive (we covered this in The Real Cost of Club Lacrosse) and it’s not for everyone. School ball gives anyone who wants it a chance to try the sport our kids have grown up loving.

All three of my kids, after playing club for several years, stood out in modified. They had several other club players in their grade, and anyone watching a school game could tell which kids played club and which did not. The club kids have a real decision when they start school lacrosse — and it’s a life decision. They can take the easy path, choose to be snobbish, know they’re better, and be a poor teammate. Or, hopefully, they take the opportunity to enjoy the game, be leaders and mentors to the kids starting out, and make it a great experience for everyone.

The Saturday Workouts

I remember my daughter’s first year in 7th grade. The first day of tryouts she came home and said, “Dad, it’s bad. Most girls don’t know how to hold a stick, let alone pass or catch.” A proud parent moment came in the discussion that followed. Several of the girls playing lax for the first time were lifelong friends. My daughter let me know four of them were coming to our house Saturday because they wanted her help getting better.

That became a Saturday thing at our house for the next 4 to 5 weeks. I give my daughter credit — she could have taken the easy, pre-teenage girl attitude and acted better than everyone. (She was.) But she openly helped her lifelong friends get better.

Looking back, all of those girls got better thanks to the Saturday “workouts,” as they came to be known. Cones in the yard, the rebounder in full use, lacrosse balls everywhere — that became the Saturday scene at our house. In fact, the following year, two of them became club girls and are still in it to this day.

That’s what school ball can do. It can turn club lacrosse players into leaders. Not just lacrosse leaders — leaders for life. They have to choose that path, and hopefully, as parents, we set them up to make that decision when it’s presented to them.

My Son Took a Different Path

My son had a different situation, but it gave us an equally proud parent moment. Like my daughter, he excelled in 7th grade. He started on his modified team and did very well. As I mentioned, we live in a big district with huge class sizes — well known for lacrosse. Unlike my daughter, when his 8th grade year rolled around, he was not asked to play up at the JV level. He did get invited to the high school camps, and yes, he was good enough — but part of school ball at the pre-varsity level is keeping kids engaged. If a bunch of 8th graders are playing over 9th and 10th graders, the reality is many of those 9th and 10th graders will drop out of the program.

Was he disappointed? Absolutely. To be honest, he handled it better than I did. As a parent who knew how much he loved the game, I wanted it for him almost as much as he did for himself.

I will say — and we’ll write a future blog on this — despite me wanting it for him, it never crossed my mind to get involved. Meaning, contact the high school coaches or anyone at the school. We believe very strongly that our children need to handle their own journey. We would give them advice and talk them through anything they wanted help with, but the actual conversations with coaches? We never did, and never will.

So back to his choice when he wasn’t called up. He could have hung his head and acted like he was too good for the modified team. Or — what he chose — go to work. He shined as a leader, became team captain, and like my daughter, became a mentor for the inexperienced kids and the younger ones.

Even more than that, I know it motivated him. From the day he found out he wasn’t asked to play up, he went to work. Daily — and I mean daily — reps in the backyard, sometimes until it was dark. Asking for more local training sessions. He chose to change his path, and I think that moment helped him over the next several years as much as anything else.

Not getting pulled up that year didn’t hold him back. Looking back, it launched him forward.

What School Ball Gives Club Kids

After seven years of watching this play out, here’s what surprised me most — school ball, especially at the modified and JV levels, gives club kids three things they can’t get anywhere else.

1. Less pressure. They’re not fighting for a roster spot or playing time. They get to just play.

2. Lifelong friends on the field with them. Club teams aren’t usually neighborhood kids. School ball is the kids they’ve known since kindergarten. Getting to play with that group, you can see the fun resonate when they’re on the field together.

3. The reminder of why they started. When club gets heavy — politics, travel, expectations — school ball can re-light the spark.

That third one — the reminder — is the one I never saw coming. Until it happened to my daughter.

Her 8th grade year, she was among a few players asked to play up at the JV level. We’re in a big district, pretty well known for girls lacrosse, so this was kind of a big deal. The team itself, to be honest, was nowhere near as good as her club team. The first game of the year, she started on the circle and had a great game in pouring rain.

After the game, getting in the car, her first words:

“I think I love lacrosse again. We had so much fun out there today.”

To set the stage on why that was such a big deal — the last few years of club had been a little tiring on her. She started, she did well, but the team itself was loaded with talent. While she never said it, I know she felt a level of pressure she put on herself to keep excelling with that group of girls. Club is a commitment — financially, emotionally, time-wise (I broke all of that down in The Real Cost of Club Lacrosse). For her, that game in the rain was the first time in a long time she got to just play. No pressure. No politics. No travel. Just lacrosse, with the friends she’d grown up with, in the rain.

I wasn’t expecting school ball to bring back the fun for her — but it did. And it lasted, right back into the next club season. It taught her the game is meant to be fun. It taught me something I share with club parents every chance I get.

What School Ball Gives Non-Club Kids

Club lacrosse is expensive — we covered that in The Real Cost of Club Lacrosse — and it’s not for everyone. School ball gives any kid who wants it a chance to try the sport our kids have grown up loving.

I have seen kids who never touched a stick before 7th grade become great players. College-level, in fact. (Rare, but it happens.) It’s important as club parents that we recognize this and support it. Every kid deserves a chance to try the game. As club parents, we should feel fortunate we were able to give our kids the club opportunity they wanted — and recognize not everyone chooses that path.

Varsity Is a Different Animal

While the majority of this article talks about school lacrosse at the modified and JV levels, it’s important to talk about how things change at the varsity level. In many lacrosse “towns” — especially the ones with historic programs — varsity lacrosse is a big deal, and it should be. The bleachers are packed for the big games. Signs throughout town wishing the team well. Social media coverage. Varsity lacrosse is a big deal.

When your club kid gets to that level — whether it’s in 8th grade or 11th grade — the game much more resembles what you’re used to in club. Not just the skill level and speed, but everything else. The competitiveness to earn a spot. Pressure to win. Time commitment. The intensity goes up.

Here’s the other thing to keep in mind: this is where your child is going to get the biggest sense of pride for wearing that jersey. While they’re getting recruited from the club scene, most people from your town have no idea what your club team did in a tournament 300 miles away last weekend. A big win for the school team, a sectional run — that becomes the talk of the town.

Recruiting happens at club. Pride happens at school. Both matter — just at different levels and for different reasons.

Don’t Be That Parent

Not surprisingly, the sideline parents usually cause more harm than good. When you watch the kids on the field, they aren’t looking at themselves as club players or non-club players. They’re a group of lifelong friends, having fun playing a game, representing their school. And they’re proud of it.

Some of the awful things I’ve heard parents say on the sidelines, though…

I — and unfortunately for him, several other parents — once heard a club dad say, “She would never play on our club team.” Talk about cringe. To be honest, I don’t think that dad ever recovered with the parents who heard that first-hand, or with the parents who heard it second-hand, third-hand, and beyond for months and years to come.

To play both sides, I’ve heard non-club parents say equally cringe-worthy things. “If we spent 10K a year, Suzie could be just as good as her.”

As a club parent, here are a few important reminders. You don’t want to be the stuck-up club parent. Trust me — the other parents are already looking at you that way. I’ve seen too many parents try to turn school ball, especially at the modified and JV levels, into club ball. Some of the most common mistakes I’ve seen:

1. Comparing coaches out loud. “Coach Mike at club would never run that play.” Your kid hears it. So do other parents.

2. Talking about club at the school game. “Well, on her club team…” Nobody asked. You sound like those parents.

3. Letting your kid coast. “It’s just school ball.” No. They’re wearing the school’s name. Show up.

Two Programs. One Kid.

Here’s the reality. If you’re reading this, it’s because your child loves lacrosse and it’s a big part of their life. Your child, with your help, chose the club lax life. School ball isn’t a competitor — it’s an equally important part of their lacrosse journey. And during school season, it’s their primary lax life. Yes, they’re different. Know that’s okay, and accept it. Your kid is out there playing the game they love.

Two programs. One kid. Both matter. Let each be exactly what it is.

And every once in a while, on a rainy Tuesday in April, school ball will remind them — and you — exactly why they fell in love with this game in the first place.