Tournament weekends are a lot of things at once. For the kids, it’s what all the early morning practices and countless hours of work were building toward. For the parents — if you let it be — it’s something pretty close to a mini-vacation. Whether you’ve been in Club Lax for years or if this weekend is your first, tournament weekends are an experience. The car ride, the hotel, the tournament itself, downtime between tourney days, and the car ride home — each part of the weekend is special in its own way. Try and enjoy it! Here’s what seven years of them has taught us.
Thursday Night – Pack It Right
A complete, thorough pack makes the rest of the weekend flow much smoother. This is where the weekend is won or can definitely be lost. The last thing you want to do is get to your hotel 5 hours away and find out you’re missing anything, let alone something critical. The one weekend, several years ago, when we forgot my daughter’s stick, was not a fun one. If you’ve read our previous blog, Tournament Weekend Packing List, you know the importance of double and triple checking. After our forgotten stick, we created a packing list we still use to this day.
The Ride to The Tournament Weekend
Friday afternoon, pulling the kid out of school early for the 5-hour drive to the tournament destination. Lunch ready in the car. A real excitement from everyone on what’s to come. This is one of the favorite parts of our weekend as parents — if not the favorite. Take advantage of this time when you can. Yes, they’re going to be on their devices, they’re going to nap, but at some point there’s going to be the opportunity for a real conversation. It may be about school, a friend, life in general and maybe even lacrosse. To this day some of our best family conversations happened with the kids locked in a car on the way to a tournament.
“Some of our best family conversations happened at 70mph on the way to a tournament in a town none of us had ever been to”
The Hotel Night 1 – Stay With the Team
I’ll keep this one short because I feel strongly about it: stay at the team hotel.
I know the temptation. You’ve got reward points. You found something cheaper two miles away. You want a quieter night. I get it.
Here’s what you’ll miss.
The kids running the hallways at 10pm with their teammates — no coaches, no drills, no pressure — just a pack of kids being kids in a hotel. Those two hours build more chemistry than a month of practices. I’ve watched kids who barely talked during warmups become inseparable by Saturday morning, all because of what happened in that lobby.
For the parents, it’s not much different. The lobby at 9pm, coolers out, nobody talking scores or game film — just parents getting to know each other. Some of the best friendships we’ve made over seven years started in a hotel lobby on a Friday night.
You can save a few dollars at the Marriott down the street. You can’t buy back what the team hotel gives your kid. In fact, the hotel is such a big part of the Club Lax experience, it will have its own blog in the coming weeks.
Tournament Morning – Breakfast Matters
Sometimes a rush, sometimes laid back. Depending on your first game time, it could be a scramble to get everyone fed, dressed, and in the car in time to get to the tournament.
If you are lucky enough to get a later first game, it can be a nice, relaxed few hours. Not to state the obvious, but getting everyone a good meal to start the really long day ahead is critical. You are going to have a lot of hotel options. While we all look at the cost, a hotel with a decent breakfast option is well worth the extra money.
To this day, at check-in, the first thing all my kids are asking about is the breakfast. Is it a real buffet or warm up the Jimmy Dean sandwich in the microwave? The first option gets instant smiles and extra good vibes.
At the Tournament
Here is where it all begins! The tent goes up, snacks are laid out, everyone will be drifting in laughing about whatever happened the night before, slowly switching gears toward game mode.
This is what you came for.
A few reminders once the games start:
No kid’s future is decided by one game. Not one. If they’re in the recruiting years, no scholarship is won or lost in a single weekend. If they’re younger, none of their future lacrosse destiny lies in their performance or the team’s performance from one weekend. Try to actually watch the game and enjoy it. The good, the bad, the whole thing. Lacrosse is more than goals — learn to watch and love the entirety of it.
As parents, we need to know our energy is contagious. Kids read their parents from the sideline better than you think. What you’re bringing — calm or stressed — they feel it. Be the parent who makes it easier to play, not harder. There are a lot of sideline personalities you will see at these tournaments. We talked about them all in our earlier blog, Lax Parents You’ll Meet on the Sidelines. I strongly encourage everyone to read that before the first tournament this year. It will have you laughing as you see them present themselves. For you, try to be the best of those personalities, not the worst.
Merchandise vendors will be plentiful at most tournaments. My piece of advice: it’s ok to say NO. Most gear being sold at these tournaments can be bought online or at your local lax store cheaper. The tourney t-shirts are a kids’ favorite, and like we did most times — especially at the younger ages — you are likely to give in. At some point, at some age…there is a limit to how many tourney t-shirts they need. You’ll know when you get there.
Hotel Night 2 – Manage the Downtime
If Day 1 wraps up early, you might find yourself back at the hotel by 1 or 2pm with a long night ahead. You need a plan.
Two-plus hours of kids running the hotel hallways is the recipe for a call from the front desk. Get ahead of it.
Team dinners are one of the best moves when there’s a lot of downtime — get the group out of the hotel for a couple of hours, let the kids decompress somewhere that isn’t the lobby, and let the parents actually sit down together. Some of the best team dinners we’ve been a part of became the thing people talked about for the rest of the season. Just a few years back the venue was a hibachi place. Twelve kids packed around one table with the chef tossing vegetables in the air for the kids to catch in their mouths. Looking back, I’m not sure how much food was eaten, but the laughter never ended — including the next morning back at the fields.
Tournament Day 2 – The Finish
The wrap of the tournament play. We all want to be playing for the championship on Day 2, but the reality is that doesn’t happen more than it does for most teams. Regardless, it’s a chance to build on yesterday’s success or opportunities and finish the weekend strong. A team picture post-tournament is something a lot of teams do, and I strongly encourage it. It’s a great look back and reminder of that particular tournament weekend. Looking back at these pictures over the years, you can literally watch a group of kids grow up.
The Ride Home – Don’t Blow It Here
Everyone’s tired. The kids played two days of lacrosse. You stood on a sideline for eight hours. The car smells like gear and somebody’s leftover tournament hot dog.
This is not the time for the post-game breakdown.
We (the parents) have a rule in our car: we start with “we had fun, we love watching you play, thanks for a great weekend.” Full stop. We let them take it from there. More often than not, they bring up the games themselves — on their own terms, in their own time. The funny moments, the play they’re proud of, the one they’re still thinking about. When it comes from them, you can actually have a conversation. When it comes from you unprompted, the headphones go in.
“Start with ‘we love watching you play, thanks for a great weekend.’ Let them take it from there.”
Depending on you and your family, a quick stop for takeout to eat in the car or stopping somewhere for a quick meal on the way home is part of it. They played all day and are hungry, and to be honest, as a parent you’ve already had enough of the vendor hot dogs and pizza.
The Whole Tournament Weekend
The tournaments are a lot of things. They are a chance for the kids to compete and put into action all they have practiced hard for countless hours. It’s a time with their teammates, on and off the field. For the parents, enjoy watching your kid play and do what they love. Enjoy the time with other adults who are living the same world you are. There will be parents you don’t see eye to eye with, but hopefully — like we have experienced — there will be parents you will become lifelong friends with.
For a lot of us, these weekends are the closest thing to a family vacation we get during tournament season. Treat them that way. Enjoy the games. Enjoy the down time. Enjoy the chaos. Enjoy the family time. They all matter a lot.
